Alpaca suitcase My research department, a fellow named Pat Wentworth, has been busy lately. Pat sends me outstanding news items from time to time, always good stuff I can write about in my column. In return I promise never to reveal his name in print. After a recent column about the abundance of polar bears, despite the detrimental effects of ‘climate change,’ Pat sent me a Unilad piece about a little problem they’re having over in Russia.